So I began to examine the ways I would expend my emotional
and physical energy… My prayer this week is that my experience of examining
and refocusing my expended energy each day will help you do the same.
The main thing I focused on (because I am such and
emotionally-driven person) was how much time I spent thinking about and
contemplating the things that are challenging for my daughter. I began
questioning how much of my thought life was negative. Negative thoughts breed
negativity. As I’m sure you know, we don’t have time for negativity when it
comes to our kids. Unfortunately, at the time, I realized that I spent most of
my time focusing on her limitations, rather than her strengths. I literally had
to re-train my brain to automatically see all the amazing things she can do,
rather than the things she struggles with. This is the one that took the most
time to overcome, and occasionally, I still have to remind myself to have
positive thoughts rather than negative when it comes to every aspect of her
disability---the treatments we have chosen, how she functions in a school
setting, and her everyday routines at home. Doing this forced me to see all of
the amazing, wonderful things she can do, and how far she has come. So
basically, think about what you’re thinking about. You may be surprised how
much energy you are wasting on unproductive thoughts.
Next, I took a
look at the kinds of people that I spent time with, and the kinds of people
that were an influence on my family. Fortunately, this step didn’t take long,
because I have been very blessed with a wonderful support system of family and
friends that are full of hope and expectancy for my daughter’s future. Pay
attention to your relationships, and make sure they have a positive impact on
you as a parent, and on your entire family. We special parents don’t have time
to be in emotionally draining relationships!
Last, but not
least, I had to take a serious look at how I spent the very little free time I
have left at the end of each day. I have historically been a “yes” person,
agreeing to extra commitments and saying yes to each and every invitation. As I
began to truly take time to examine this part of my life, I realized it took up
a lot of my energy. I learned that it is OK to say no, and life will still go
on. We have to realize that every family is different, and each and every
family deserves to make their own decisions on how many social or family events
they can commit to. This also took me awhile, but in the end, the bottom line
was that my family comes first. I
believe all families need to do what works best for them—take care of your
family first, and don’t feel guilty about it!
Because we
special parents have learned the hard way what it means to be “on guard”
constantly—for the next bump in the road that we have to overcome—we owe it to
ourselves and our children to save our energy, because we never know when we
may need it next. Save all the good, positive energy for your family, they
deserve it, and so do you!
Blessings,
Maria
Blessings,
Maria
