From the moment we found out our child would be differently-abled, our hearts changed forever. It takes some time to get used to this transformation-- At first, we do everything and anything we can to find services and supports that may help, and we don’t stop—what I call “survival mode.” Survival mode is our body’s way of adjusting to the way this new heart feels—the rhythm of the beats, and what makes it tick.
As time goes by and our child makes progress, we know that this new heart was meant to be inside of us, we may even admit we actually like the way it feels. It’s easy when things are going well—decisions that we have made turn out to actually be what they needed, some goals are met etc,….
But when things aren’t always going good, and we can’t see any progress of our efforts, it is easy to get discouraged.
So much of the day-to-day routines and concerns for our kids can weight us down—sap us of our energy and strength, and eventually our hope.
Facing the challenges with our kids on a regular basis can be very overwhelming and can deter even the most optimistic and positive parent on any given day.
The weariness that goes along with this journey can make our once energized heart beat become sluggish.
Many days, our hearts need revived.
What do you do when your heart feels like it can’t go another step on this journey? Who do you turn to when you need a special parent lift, to put the spring back into your step to endure the bumps along this road?
Sometimes the smallest thing can help us get through an hour---and we all know that some weeks or months are definitely hour by hour--- even minute by minute.
I heard a special mom say recently that just by hearing an inspirational song revived her strength to get through that day. Another spoke of a night when family came to give her a night of uninterrupted sleep was all she needed to get back on track.
Depending on the status of your child at any given moment, these lulls in the state of our emotions can take over even the best day.
In my experience, most of the time, a third party that is supportive of my journey helps soothe my heart when it is feeling calloused. I am blessed to have many understanding, good friends that “get it” and an awesome, loving family that sees me through no matter what…
I would be amiss if I didn’t mention the strength that comes from my heavenly Father and the promises of His Word. His love and strength renewed my heart when I was a brand new special mom, and I don’t know where I would be if He hadn’t intervened and given me hope through my first few years on this journey….and He continues to remind me that He chose me for this task.
What about you?
Have you found other special parents that reassure you that you are not alone? Do you have some true friends that realize the parenting role you have is a little different from theirs, and support you?
If you don’t, my prayer for you this month is that you will seek out the opportunities in the community that are available—or get online and search for others that have children with some of the same issues that your child faces. Even if their child has a completely different diagnosis than yours, you must know that the feelings we face are all the same. We all share the same fears as well as hopes for our kids—so don’t be afraid to seek out other special parents—we all need each other. The professionals that your child sees on a regular basis may be the key to linking you to local families that are in need of support, too. I know first-hand that when we are feeling discouraged and don’t want to take another step forward, that is when you need to reach out to others the most.
Let the supportive people in your life to help you. A good friend that gets your world would be elated if you asked them for their help—and sometimes all we need is an understanding, listening ear.
Allow yourself to be renewed—don’t let your heart become so discouraged that you won’t let anyone in. We need each other—our kids depend on our strength and courage so they can continue to press on and fight—when we revive our hearts, our kids benefit the most.
Revive your heart, renew your spirit—your child is waiting.
~Maria
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