Don't Walk Alone

 How connected are you with other families that also have a child with special needs?

Have you sought out groups or play dates with other families like yours?

If you’re not sure that you would be receptive to being with other special families, my hope is that my words will give you a start in deciding if now is the right time for you to seek out other parents.

Know you are not alone.

The sooner you realize that, the better you will be.

At the start of any special parenting journey, we all feel alone. We have all kinds of thoughts and worries that are specific to the fact that we had not planned for this journey…

We think, “I must be the only parent in the world that had to take this detour.” The truth is, most of us did not plan on taking this trip, and we do all we can to gather the strength to endure each minute of it. I know it is a very bumpy and exhausting road in the beginning, but the more steps you take forward, the smoother it becomes--And any journey in life is so much smoother when you are surrounded by others that have walked the same path.

Some special families are able to jump right into asking around for other parents that they can talk to shortly after they learn their child is not typically developing, and other families like to wait until they are completely comfortable talking about this unanticipated journey.

Either way, when you are ready, you will know.

I say it often that no matter what the disability that has made its way into your life is called, the feelings surrounding accepting it are all the same. They mimic the feelings that people go through that are mourning any kind of loss—Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance.Even if you are not totally and completely in the acceptance stage, you can still reach out to other people for help. Many families I have met over the years have told me that the reason they did not seek out other parents was because they didn’t feel ready to talk about the disability to anyone—let alone a stranger. And once they connected with others, they always end up saying they wish they would have had done it sooner.

We have all been in all of these stages at one point or another. And often, we go back and forth in and out of stages---we must remember that we are all human, and all of our hearts were changed forever when we learned our child had a disability.

Know this—you don’t have to have it “all together” to connect with other special families—none of us have it all together one hundred percent of the time!

  

One of the most important reasons we need each other is so we can all know and realize that we are not, in fact, going crazy—there are other parents in the world that are also on this journey that can often feel like a roller coaster ride.

I encourage you to ask your child’s physicians, early intervention coordinators, teachers, therapists—anyone that is guiding your journey—for suggestions and information on how to get connected to other families that may  not necessarily be on the exact same path as you are, but that have had the privilege of walking on this road that we are all on.

I do consider this journey with my daughter a privilege—because had she not been diagnosed with a disability, I would not have found out what true faith in God is, and would not have found many, many true friends that walk beside me.