Two are better than one...

"Two are better than one... for if they fall, one will lift up the other." Ecclesiastes 4:9-10


I often tell special parents that no matter what their child's diagnosis is or isn't called--the feelings are all the same. Even if your child has a few delays that need worked on & they will catch up--we all share the same emotions.


I have been very fortunate over the years to have been blessed to meet many, many special parents. I'm in awe of the fact that some of them contact me with questions, or just to talk after years have gone by--but because of the special bond we share, no matter how many days, weeks, or months that have gone by, we can pick up right where we left off.


I was pleasantly surprised when one of those amazing Mom's called me yesterday for my opinion on some things she's dealing with in regard's to her son's needs at school--even though I did not have any solutions, she said it made her feel good that she had someone to vent to, and that would verify her valid concerns. And in turn, she asked how my daughter was doing, and we shared our experiences, and even though her son's diagnosis is very different from my daughter's, we understood each other.


And if you know anything about special parenthood, sometimes you just need someone that understands you--it could make or break you on a bad day...


So, my prayer today is that if you haven't already, get connected with other special parents--through your community, on-line, etc...



You will have better good days if you have someone to share your bad days with.




~Maria

Choose Hope

Christopher Reeve said, “Once we choose hope, anything is possible.” We special parents have good days and bad days with our children, but our best days are those filled with hope. Hope for the here and now along with hope for our child’s future. I feel we must understand that hope is a choice—people that don’t ever have to think about reaching inside themselves to grasp some hope to get through a day probably don’t realize it is a choice. The alternative would be focusing on the negative, the “what ifs”, the “cant’s”, or the “wont’s”...as a parent, those words cannot be in our vocabulary in order for us to pass on the light of hope that our children so desperately need, so they can dig deep within themselves and call upon it whenever they may need it. It would be making the conscious choice to dwell on all the things our kids can’t do, instead of the things they can do. If that is what we chose, what kind of message would we be sending to our children?
With the multiple physician and/or therapy appointments we take our kids to, all too often the focus is on what our children are not capable of, and a professional’s opinion is usually all we have to get us through any particular day. While many, many professionals give us hope, there are many days we have to have our own sense of hope when those appointments don’t go the way we had expected. That “piece” of hope is based on what we know our children are capable of (after all, no one knows our kids better than we do...), not what the expert we see on any particular day has to say about them. If you are surrounded by family and friends that are hopeful, it is much easier to “find” our hope when we need it...
Our kids will always look to us for an example, for empowerment, and encouragement...if our light of hope would dim for any reason, we may be unwillingly deterring their progress that day—or we may be altering their self esteem and not even realize it. We must lead by example and look towards them with positive expectancy. Our kids have dreams and wishes just like all kids; obviously, we have to be realistic as to not frustrate them, but if we expect great things for them, they will always be sure of themselves and know that they can and will do anything they want to....and if their body or mind limits them in any way, they will always have our loving support and encouragement that stems from that constant light of hope inside us. That hope can present itself as many different things to different people at any given moment—it may appear to you when you see your child do the smallest thing that you may have been working on for months, or when they have met goals above and beyond your expectations—that unbelievably wonderful feeling that comes over you that you just can’t quite explain to someone in words (I know the feeling very well!)...That is the feeling of expectancy beyond belief. That is what our children need more than anything at times. That is the hope I’m challenging you to find, or if you have already found it—embrace it with all of the energy inside of you... I know first hand that the smallest light of hope can get us through even the darkest day...have you made your choice? Choose hope and anything will be possible...

~Maria

Flip Flop Moments

In this season of my life, I am very grateful for flip-flops. Yes, flip-flops. I am very grateful for the skill it takes to keep them on your feet, and the sound they make as you walk. I never used to be so fond of them—until recently.

I’m sure all of you reading this have had the experience of wearing a pair of flip-flops. And I’m also sure that it is an uneventful, subconscious experience for you.

Well, for my daughter, it was a learned skill that took a few weeks, and since she is used to always wearing tennis shoes with braces, it was a huge accomplishment for her.
So, for weeks last summer, I allowed her to wear them in the house only, just so she would take her time and not fall. Even though she was insistent on trying them, I was hesitant because her therapist voiced how awful they are for her feet, and suggested it was not a good idea. But because she wants to be just like her friends, she wanted to learn. So how could I deny her the right to be like everyone else?
Recently we had to run to the grocery store for just a couple of items—and she proceeded to the door in her flip flops—and for once, I did not object. When she realized I was going to allow her to wear them out of the house, she was elated and thanked me the entire way to the store!
The simplest thing that we take for granted all summer long, brought her such joy.
We went to the store, and she took her time, proudly looking down at her feet often. And, in the midst of the hustle and bustle of the people in the store, a quiet miracle of our own was occurring. I started to cry a soft, grateful, joy-filled cry, right there in the middle of the store. My heart was full as I watched her accomplish this big task.

What are your flip-flops?
What are the things that have happened in your son or daughter’s world that would definitely be a miracle to you and your family?
If you are unsure, my prayer this month is that you will be able to recognize when something remarkable has happened, no matter how insignificant it may look to the world—and want to celebrate and share it with others! Our kids’ successes will motivate other special parents to keep hoping, and look toward their next “flip-flop” moment.

I know some special moms that are patiently waiting for their child to put a simple sentence together, while some are praying for the ability to sit up or walk. For them, a new word or a strengthened muscle can turn into a day of celebration.
I also know a very special mom who is currently waiting patiently for her son’s miracle while praying his new blood will save his life.

Yes, save his life.

So, I’m certain she finds way to celebrate each tiny accomplishment or good report from the doctor during his very long hospital stay.
Each hope-filled day breeds the next, and the next….and each celebration makes her a stronger, more special mom.

I feel it is so important for us to share our special children’s astonishing miracles with “typical” parents—not so they will feel pity for us or our kids, but so they will in turn be grateful for all of the things their kids do automatically, and feel very blessed that they do. Our kids were put on this earth not just to make us better, stronger parents, but to show others their exceptional, silent strength.

We all have to be ready and waiting for these moments, and not give up hope that they will happen for our child. All of these miracles are unique in their own way—some may look more important than others, but at the root of them lay the same thing—special parents’ hopes coming to life before their eyes--Moments that we have prayed for coming to fruition can’t be taken lightly, and deserve to be celebrated.

I firmly believe Hebrews 11:1: “Faith is the substance of things hoped for; evidence of things that can’t be seen” So don’t be afraid to have faith—it will breed hope, and will automatically set the stage for your next flip-flop moment.
Are you ready?

On February 12th, I have the honor of being the Keynote Speaker for an upcoming fundraiser for an amazing organization near Canton, Ohio called Echoing Hills Village that supports young adults with disabilities.

For more info and to check out the wonderful work they do, go to: http://www.echoinghillsvillage.org/