"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." -Maya Angelou
I always say that having compassion and empathy for others is part of my DNA.
I don't think it happens by accident, I feel the family factor has much to do with it.
I was fortunate enough to be born into a big, Italian family. If you know anything about Italians, you know that we are huggers. Lots of hugs and kisses...given at hellos, good byes, and for everything else in between!
I think that's where my feelings for others---being able to feel what they feel--and empathize, comes from. I saw it modeled each and every day, and felt it in the atmosphere of our home. It oozed out of my parents, and it spilled into my two sisters, my brother, and me.
People often comment to me that I have a gift for empathizing with people, and, in turn, helping them. Although I am very grateful that they call it my gift, I know it was a gift that was given to me not only by God, but also by my parents and extended family.
Because of this, I know it is so important to have kids that are capable of feeling for others also.
Don't we all want them to grow up to be compassionate human beings? To be able to be the voice of hope and sincerity when people need it the most?
This can only be modeled--in our voices, our actions, and the tone we set for the space that we all dwell.
Regardless of the kind of home you grew up in, or the family you were born into, I'm sure that being a parent changed you. Someone calling you 'Mom' or 'Dad' altered the make-up of your heart and gave you the ability to create your own unique atmosphere that fosters this kind of warmth.
Please don't misunderstand me in thinking that my home is constantly flowing with positive , quiet voice tones and angelic singing. Remember I told you I'm Italian...100% Italian. I am by no means claiming that my house is a quiet, serene place each and every day.Voices are loud, crazy mom comes out of me at about 9pm every night.... But I will tell you, that at the end of the day, my kids know that my husband and I love each other---and them--more than anything in this world. I hope and pray daily that they will grow up secure in who they are, and that a piece of my love and compassion for others will be instilled inside of them forever.
My prayer for you this week is that you will recognize the moments in the busyness of your day that this compassion-love-warmth-can be shown to your kids. And that you will be able to instill this gift to them..just by being you.
~Maria
Thursday, October 9, 2014
Wednesday, October 1, 2014
What Doesn't Kill You....
I have had alot of "why" moments lately. Why do so many people in this world have to hurt?" Why does it seem like others have multiple things to endure in this lifetime while others seem to go through their days worry-free?
I know as a Christian, I am not supposed to ask these questions. John 16:33 states it clearly:" I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."
So, in faith--having TRUE faith--we must believe.
I've learned that believing is a choice. A choice we must make daily...whatever the hour, day, or month may bring, it begins with choosing.
Because of my "special motherhood" and my husband's recent fight against cancer, I have to choose. So many people have said to me "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" and "God will never give you more than you can handle."
And I think, aren't I strong enough now? How much faith does God have in me??
Some days, the questions haunt me, and doubt tries to seep in.
But I know that I know that God made me a survivor, a warrior. He chose me for all of these things, just as much as I have to make the conscious choice to believe that He is in all of it. Always. Each and every moment of my life.
I was in the pity/doubt mode a few months ago, and I found an interview article with Joyce Meyer in Called magazine. For those of you that may not know who Joyce Meyer is--she is an amazing woman of God and teacher of His word. She has a fiery, no-nonsense spirit that makes you listen when she talks.
She is also no stranger to pain. She spent all of her childhood (into adulthood) being sexually abused by her father. She speaks about it candidly, so that viewers can know how she has overcome.
This is an excerpt from the article...which spun me right out of my pity party:
“I just started working with a new strength training coach, and he told me that when I got to repetition 9 or 10, if I felt the weight I was lifting was going to be too much, I could use my own discretion about when to stop. I told him that if the goal was 10, I would do 10 (if there was any possible way for me to do it). I said, ‘If I quit early, you can be guaranteed that I absolutely could not go on.’ I wasn't bragging; that is just the way I am. I had to make that decision early in life when I was being abused, and no adult was willing to help me. I had to make it again when my first husband walked out on me when I was pregnant, so he could live with another woman. I had to make it again when God called me into ministry, and I was asked to leave my church – resulting in me losing all of my friends. When my strength was gone, I finally realized I needed to rely on God’s strength. [...] Perhaps the reason God didn't rescue me from all these difficulties was for the purpose of building that determination in me – because without it, none of us can do anything great in life. If you have big dreams, then you’ll need determination.”
And all of a sudden a light bulb went off.
This is who He created me to be-this is the life He has given me--just for me. He made my circumstances and struggles to form me into the strong, determined woman He wants me to be....and He has given me big, God-sized dreams in the meantime. He dealt me this hand of cards because He wants me to rely on Him for everything and be confident in who I am.
My prayer this week is that you will find hope in the struggles you are facing. Hope that you will become stronger than you were before, not just because the phrase says you will, but because you truly believe this is the path you were meant to be on. I pray that He will also show you dreams that could only come from Him, and you will choose to believe.
You were chosen for your unique journey--and your faith and determination will grow with each step.
"All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; he'll never let you be pushed past your limit; he'll always be there to help you through it." (1 Cor 10:13, MSG).
~Maria
See the entire Joyce Meyer article at:
http://calledmagazine.com/inspiration/item/330-cover-story-joyce-meyer/330-cover-story-joyce-meyer?start=3
I know as a Christian, I am not supposed to ask these questions. John 16:33 states it clearly:" I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."
So, in faith--having TRUE faith--we must believe.
I've learned that believing is a choice. A choice we must make daily...whatever the hour, day, or month may bring, it begins with choosing.
Because of my "special motherhood" and my husband's recent fight against cancer, I have to choose. So many people have said to me "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" and "God will never give you more than you can handle."
And I think, aren't I strong enough now? How much faith does God have in me??
Some days, the questions haunt me, and doubt tries to seep in.
But I know that I know that God made me a survivor, a warrior. He chose me for all of these things, just as much as I have to make the conscious choice to believe that He is in all of it. Always. Each and every moment of my life.
I was in the pity/doubt mode a few months ago, and I found an interview article with Joyce Meyer in Called magazine. For those of you that may not know who Joyce Meyer is--she is an amazing woman of God and teacher of His word. She has a fiery, no-nonsense spirit that makes you listen when she talks.
She is also no stranger to pain. She spent all of her childhood (into adulthood) being sexually abused by her father. She speaks about it candidly, so that viewers can know how she has overcome.
This is an excerpt from the article...which spun me right out of my pity party:
“I just started working with a new strength training coach, and he told me that when I got to repetition 9 or 10, if I felt the weight I was lifting was going to be too much, I could use my own discretion about when to stop. I told him that if the goal was 10, I would do 10 (if there was any possible way for me to do it). I said, ‘If I quit early, you can be guaranteed that I absolutely could not go on.’ I wasn't bragging; that is just the way I am. I had to make that decision early in life when I was being abused, and no adult was willing to help me. I had to make it again when my first husband walked out on me when I was pregnant, so he could live with another woman. I had to make it again when God called me into ministry, and I was asked to leave my church – resulting in me losing all of my friends. When my strength was gone, I finally realized I needed to rely on God’s strength. [...] Perhaps the reason God didn't rescue me from all these difficulties was for the purpose of building that determination in me – because without it, none of us can do anything great in life. If you have big dreams, then you’ll need determination.”
And all of a sudden a light bulb went off.
This is who He created me to be-this is the life He has given me--just for me. He made my circumstances and struggles to form me into the strong, determined woman He wants me to be....and He has given me big, God-sized dreams in the meantime. He dealt me this hand of cards because He wants me to rely on Him for everything and be confident in who I am.
My prayer this week is that you will find hope in the struggles you are facing. Hope that you will become stronger than you were before, not just because the phrase says you will, but because you truly believe this is the path you were meant to be on. I pray that He will also show you dreams that could only come from Him, and you will choose to believe.
You were chosen for your unique journey--and your faith and determination will grow with each step.
"All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; he'll never let you be pushed past your limit; he'll always be there to help you through it." (1 Cor 10:13, MSG).
~Maria
See the entire Joyce Meyer article at:
http://calledmagazine.com/inspiration/item/330-cover-story-joyce-meyer/330-cover-story-joyce-meyer?start=3
Thursday, September 25, 2014
A Football Life
Fall is in full swing and I love it.
The cooler nights, the autumn breeze, and of course--football.
Football has become an integral part of our lives. Our fourteen year old son, Jonah, is completely obsessed. Obsessed with his quarterback position on the Freshman team and obsessed with the Steelers.
On the field, he is calm, cool and smooth. Off of the field he has fiery energy that is difficult to describe. Many people have their opinion about kids playing football--the injury risks, etc...
But this game is forming my Jonah into the person he was meant to be. It has been a platform for him to channel his energy and passion in a positive way. He has blossomed into a leader, and I am so very proud of him. Since sixth grade, he has been the one that pulls the team together on the sideline and leads them in prayer---even now, on the public school football field. I am in awe each week.
He has been fortunate to have had in the past, and has currently---wonderful coaches that pour into all of the boys. They are not just teaching football skills and plays. They have been instilling life skills that these kids will remember their entire lives.
So, do I worry about the possibility of injuries? Of course. All moms do.
But I know that I know that if I had discouraged Jonah and not allowed him to play this game he loves so much, he would not have the confidence he has now, and I would have squelched his passion for life.
My prayer this week is that you will, despite your fears, encourage your children to do what they love, use their God given gifts...and bask in watching them become the individuals they were meant to be.
~Maria
Friday, September 19, 2014
Blessings
Singer/songwriter
Laura Story song, “Blessings” chorus says beautifully, “What if your blessings
come through raindrops, what if your healing comes through tears, what if a
thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You’re near? What if trials
of this life, are Your mercies in disguise.”
Blessings come in all sorts of shapes and sizes-and sights
and sounds.
They’re everywhere. All the time. All around us. We may not
notice them.
If you or anyone you love has ever been sick, hurt, or
disabled, you may have already witnessed many of these blessings. I like to
call them little reminders that God is with us-in everything-EVERYTHING-and He
sees us, and hears the cries of our hearts.
In the midst of my daughter’s “phases” of recovering from
her recent surgery, she still continues to amaze me. I know it is her voice
telling me things she is thinking and feeling, but I know that I know it is the
Holy Spirit speaking through her amazing body, to comfort me, and show me
multiple blessings.
After her second casting this week, she was scared and in
pain…and said to me in her twelve year old voice, “Mom, I might cry when I say
this to you….but I am proud of myself.” And I
was the one crying. In the middle of probably the worst pain she’s ever had,
and the struggle between her thoughts and her body, she said exactly what was
on her mind. And she is proud.
And it makes me proud.
It was my little blessing of the day.
You see, if you are in too much of a hurry of your day, your
schedule, your appointments, your kid’s schedules…you may miss these beautiful
reminders.
As a mom, I was so apprehensive about this surgery, and the
outcome….I always wonder if I make the right decisions for her, and for her
future. It’s just a mom’s nature to want what’s best for her, and to make
decisions that will benefit her…and doubt always seeps in. Worry and anxiety
creeps into my mind, and I try not to show it to her.
Then, again, shortly after she was adjusting to the feeling
of this new cast, she walked up the steps-alone-even though I told her to wait
for me to go behind her and for her to go slow….
I voiced that she was making me nervous, and yet again, I
was fortunate enough to get the second blessing of the day she said… “Mom, I am
strong and brave, and you don’t have to worry about me.”
She might as well have said, “Jesus wants you to know He is
here, in all of this, and He doesn't want you to worry anymore. He is taking
care of me.”
Again, I was crying, thanking God for the beautiful miracle
girl He gave me so I can be reminded of His love and His presence.
My prayer this week is that you know He is in your everyday world-He
knows you like no other-and He sees your pain, your hurts, your smiles, and
your tears.
He is showing you through blessings that may not appear like
fireworks, but they are in the voice of a loved one, a sight in nature, or a
gesture of a kind stranger.
Pay attention.
The blessings are there.
He is there.
~Maria
Wednesday, September 10, 2014
Keep Walking
Recently, my daughter had surgery. Pretty major surgery--her orthopedic surgeon had to cut and lengthen the heel chord of her left leg to allow her heel to hit the ground while she walks.
It was very painful, and she is still wearing a cast...four weeks later.
She is so resilient, as usual. I was worried and anxious prior to the surgery---contemplating all the pain she would be in. She was in an enormous amount of pain for the first week. Then, her amazing physical therapist worked with her to encourage her to walk on it.
Walk on it? I thought she was crazy!
How could she even begin to want to put pressure on the ground with that foot while being in so much pain??
But as usual, she surprised me. Even though she was in pain, just 5 days after this major surgery, she started to walk...taking little baby steps--but walking.
Despite all her pain. She kept moving...and continues to move--and will until they remove her cast next week. Then her orthotist will mold her new brace, and she will get yet another cast while we wait for the brace to be made.
As a mom, my heart hurts that she must endure all of this.
But to her-it's just a part of her life.
She is twelve, and she continually teaches me how we all should live our lives.
Face each challenge as it comes.
Challenges are not your entire life, just part of it.
...And keep walking in spite of your pain.
"...let us exult and triumph in our troubles and rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that pressure and affliction and hardship produce patient and unswerving endurance. And endurance develops maturity of character. And character produces joyful and confident hope of eternal salvation. Such hope never disappoints or shames us, for God's love has been poured out in our hearts through the Holy Spirit Who has been given to us. " (Rom 3-5, Amp)
~Maria
It was very painful, and she is still wearing a cast...four weeks later.
She is so resilient, as usual. I was worried and anxious prior to the surgery---contemplating all the pain she would be in. She was in an enormous amount of pain for the first week. Then, her amazing physical therapist worked with her to encourage her to walk on it.
Walk on it? I thought she was crazy!
How could she even begin to want to put pressure on the ground with that foot while being in so much pain??
But as usual, she surprised me. Even though she was in pain, just 5 days after this major surgery, she started to walk...taking little baby steps--but walking.
Despite all her pain. She kept moving...and continues to move--and will until they remove her cast next week. Then her orthotist will mold her new brace, and she will get yet another cast while we wait for the brace to be made.
As a mom, my heart hurts that she must endure all of this.
But to her-it's just a part of her life.
She is twelve, and she continually teaches me how we all should live our lives.
Face each challenge as it comes.
Challenges are not your entire life, just part of it.
...And keep walking in spite of your pain.
"...let us exult and triumph in our troubles and rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that pressure and affliction and hardship produce patient and unswerving endurance. And endurance develops maturity of character. And character produces joyful and confident hope of eternal salvation. Such hope never disappoints or shames us, for God's love has been poured out in our hearts through the Holy Spirit Who has been given to us. " (Rom 3-5, Amp)
~Maria
Thursday, April 17, 2014
Surprises
I love surprises. I always have--I'm a little girl at heart.
This week, I got a very unexpected surprise that made my heart sing...
My Olivia, who is now 11 years old, has challenges with her left hand, and it hinders her to complete many self-care tasks...we are getting there, trying to teach them to her...but it is a daily, ongoing, thing.
The other day, my husband and I were both at work, and she had to be home with her older brother. (Which they both do not enjoy to begin with...) And she was getting ready to go spend the day with her very best friend. Getting ready, that is, without any help.
She wears a brace on her left leg, that is kinda tricky to get on to begin with. Her occupational therapist, Linda Ankerman, and I, have not even begun to think about teaching her to put it on. She hasn't even mastered putting her socks on.
Until the other day.
She calls me and says she put her socks and brace on, couldn't master her shoes, and her brother was still sleeping. She didn't want to make him mad by waking him up.
The point of her call was to just tell me she wanted to wake him up, and didn't know how.
I, on the other hand, was in shock at her words and had to ask her, "Did you say you put your socks and brace on?" And in her matter-of-fact voice she said, " Yes, I told myself, well-he's sleeping, and you have to figure this out!"
And she did.
So as I was quietly crying on the phone, I encouraged her to wake up her brother, even though she was hesitant to do so.
As usual, she taught herself yet another task all on her own--because she wanted to..
And I got the greatest surprise ever.
~Maria
This week, I got a very unexpected surprise that made my heart sing...
My Olivia, who is now 11 years old, has challenges with her left hand, and it hinders her to complete many self-care tasks...we are getting there, trying to teach them to her...but it is a daily, ongoing, thing.
The other day, my husband and I were both at work, and she had to be home with her older brother. (Which they both do not enjoy to begin with...) And she was getting ready to go spend the day with her very best friend. Getting ready, that is, without any help.
She wears a brace on her left leg, that is kinda tricky to get on to begin with. Her occupational therapist, Linda Ankerman, and I, have not even begun to think about teaching her to put it on. She hasn't even mastered putting her socks on.
Until the other day.
She calls me and says she put her socks and brace on, couldn't master her shoes, and her brother was still sleeping. She didn't want to make him mad by waking him up.
The point of her call was to just tell me she wanted to wake him up, and didn't know how.
I, on the other hand, was in shock at her words and had to ask her, "Did you say you put your socks and brace on?" And in her matter-of-fact voice she said, " Yes, I told myself, well-he's sleeping, and you have to figure this out!"
And she did.
So as I was quietly crying on the phone, I encouraged her to wake up her brother, even though she was hesitant to do so.
As usual, she taught herself yet another task all on her own--because she wanted to..
And I got the greatest surprise ever.
~Maria
Thursday, March 6, 2014
Survival Mode Again...
Hello all,
Please pardon my absence....recently I had to go back into survival mode. This time, though, it had nothing to do with my daughter or her needs.
My husband was diagnosed with Burkitt's Non-Hodgin's Lymphoma. It is a rare, fast growing form of cancer, and the closest hospital that treats it is the Cleveland Clinic. He underwent aggressive, in-patient chemotherapy. We are so very grateful the Clinic is very close to where we live, and even though it is rare, they treat it often.
During the past 4 months I learned alot about who I am and the strength I have gained because of the all-to-familiar state of survival mode. I was surprisingly able to pick up on all the medical terminology, medications, side effects and how to recognize them when they came. I was able to just read my husband's face and know what he needed.
I attribute this to the past eleven years of having to do whatever my daughter needed, whenever a crisis occurred with her. I became good at it, because of survival mode. I am grateful for the opportunity I have had thus far being a special mom , and truly discovering who I was meant to be.
God chose me to be a caretaker. To my entire family. I consider it a privilege to care for them and have the strength to endure this season of my life.
If you are in the midst of survival mode right now...even though you may not feel it or see it, God is preparing you for the future and He will hold you up and teach you so many things along the way.
Trust Him.
His molding you into the person you were meant to be.
~Maria
Please pardon my absence....recently I had to go back into survival mode. This time, though, it had nothing to do with my daughter or her needs.
My husband was diagnosed with Burkitt's Non-Hodgin's Lymphoma. It is a rare, fast growing form of cancer, and the closest hospital that treats it is the Cleveland Clinic. He underwent aggressive, in-patient chemotherapy. We are so very grateful the Clinic is very close to where we live, and even though it is rare, they treat it often.
During the past 4 months I learned alot about who I am and the strength I have gained because of the all-to-familiar state of survival mode. I was surprisingly able to pick up on all the medical terminology, medications, side effects and how to recognize them when they came. I was able to just read my husband's face and know what he needed.
I attribute this to the past eleven years of having to do whatever my daughter needed, whenever a crisis occurred with her. I became good at it, because of survival mode. I am grateful for the opportunity I have had thus far being a special mom , and truly discovering who I was meant to be.
God chose me to be a caretaker. To my entire family. I consider it a privilege to care for them and have the strength to endure this season of my life.
If you are in the midst of survival mode right now...even though you may not feel it or see it, God is preparing you for the future and He will hold you up and teach you so many things along the way.
Trust Him.
His molding you into the person you were meant to be.
~Maria
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